Thursday, May 19, 2005

Chewbecca weighs in

I'm looking forward to this Star Wars movie. I didn't see the other two. That little blond kid and the talking dino-monkey guy...they just didn't grab me. I hope the fall of Anakin is more Crime and Punishment than "mwahaha, I want to take over the world," but we'll see. I hope Lucas took advantage of the opportunity to make him complicated and sympathetic...the fall of the hero is the best kind of storyline there is, aside from maybe three wacky roommates out of college and giving it a shot in the big city.

George Lucas is brilliant in general, of course...these movies came out when we were young, and we remember it with the sort of bigger-than-life reverence you can only really have for the stuff of childhood. When you're 25, a good movie is a good movie. When you're 8, it's pure magic and you're moved in a way that you can only express by acting out scenes over and over in the backyard with your friends. Bringing back the franchise when we're all older and nostalgic for it...genius.

As far as my relationship with Star Wars back in the day, I adored Leia, of course. I wasn't really the sort of little girl to look up to a princess, but she wasn't a princess-princess. I loved, loved, LOVED how she was smart and cool and hot and could kick your ass. I just wanted to be her and strangle Jabba and befriend Ewoks and come up with a better post-carbonate line than, "Someone who loves you!"

I hated Han. He was like the Mr. Big of a galaxy far far away. I hated that Leia liked him in spite of herself, not that she had many options. Even as a kid I was infuriated by arrogant guys. "I love you." "I know." Bastard.

Yoda was boring. He talked for too long and in his death scene, he JUST...WOULDN'T...DIE. I could never become a Jedi because I couldn't get past that rambling, grammatically incoherent muppet. There was always more advice, more dying gasps, more articles to mix up. Could he be anymore abstract? The force...the power...the belief. WHAT exactly is the plan here, buddy?

I loved Obi Wan and Luke. Ahh, Luke. He was smart and sweet and didn't shoot his mouth off at the creature meetings when rat face guy analyzed the hologram of the Death Star. He had that little smile and you just knew he was going to save the universe and have tousled hair and it would all be okay.

As far as the goods...I had a C3PO and R2-D2 alarm clock that used to say something like, "R2, it's time for all good Jedis to wake up! BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!" It made me crazy. I had a thought a couple years ago that I could sell it for a fortune on eBay, but apparently 1,000 other people with the same clock had the same thought at around the same time. I had an Ewoks tape holder. Oh, and the stuffed Ewoks. I had the brown one with the brown outfit (ha, outfit? maybe I mean rag) and then I remember my weird uncle gave me the gray one with the pink outfit, which was my favorite, and I was kind of scared of him but I was so excited I thought I'd die.

So, yeah. I guess I'm somewhere between looking forward to seeing it eventually and standing in line for three weeks dressed as a storm trooper.

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