Sunday, July 30, 2006

Sporadically Asked Questions

Why do you have a blog?
I like to write, particularly in this freestyle (read: lazy) kind of way.

How long have you been blogging?
I originally boarded the blog train at a sad little station called Diary-X, which has since literally self-destructed. I was about 24 at the time. I spent some time at the X and then had a brief stint on Live Journal. Then I upgraded to Blogger, where I've been for more than two years now. I like it here.

What's a cupcake tent?
Originally the blog had a totally different title with my name in it, but then I decided that I didn't want to broadcast my name. I was trying to think of another title for it, but I just wanted it to come to me and not be something too contrived. Then one day Mark and I were watching Rachael Ray (stay with me!) host a special during which she threw a springtime block party for a neighborhood. Everyone helped her make the food and it was all unbearably sweet, not unlike little Rachael herself. She was making a bunch of cupcakes and putting them in (see where I'm going with this?) a tent. At one point during the show she said, "And over here in the cupcake tent..." I just liked it, and that was it. I keep waiting for that episode to air again and for someone to email me like, "Hey! Do you know what Dimples just said?" and then I'd have to admit that it wasn't just a Food Networkoincidence, that it was really just me swiping her cuteness out from under her. Considering where I got my inspiration, I suppose the blog name could've ended up being a lot worse, like the EVOO Tent. Or the She's About To Take a Bite, Steel Yourself For the O Face Tent. Or Holy Crap, Is That Girl's Face All Over The Cracker Aisle or What Tent.

Why do you go by Red?
Am I a Communist? A Fraggle? A primary color? I'm actually just a redhead, sorry to disappoint. No one that I actually know calls me Red, only strangers: "I can ring you up over here, Red." "What will you be having, Red?" "Hey, Red, why doncha learn how to fahkin' drive a cah." (My responses: Oh great, thanks; I think the risotto, and what's your soup tonight?; and shut up asshole, you're in MY LANE.)

Uh-huh. I mean, why do you go by Red, and not Your Actual Name?
Right. Well, I admire people who can blog it up about whatever they want and don't care who reads it, but I don't necessarily want everyone who knows me, or knew me in seventh grade and is Googling me on a drunken whim, to read my ramblings. I'm not entirely sure why; it's not like I ever talk about anything scandalous, really. I just feel more freedom in relative anonymity. Not unlike serial killers.

What's the deal with [insert random friend's name here]? How do you know [insert random friend's name here]? Which ones do you know in real life?
The first several blogs that I link to are real-life compadres. Anyone else that I mention by name is typically just some broke-ass friend of mine, and it's safe to assume that I went to school with them, work/worked with them, picked them up on the side of the road, or like to make mix tapes and drink milkshakes with them.

Are you dating [insert random friend's name here]?
No, I'm not dating any of my friends. Are you?

If you were a color, what would you be?
A bright yet subdued shade of whothefuckcares.

I'm coming to Boston/the Cape for the weekend. Can you make any suggestions for things to do/places to eat?
Absolutely! What are you into? Because, you know, we're kinda kinky around these parts.


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