It was a combination of Clerks ("I'm not even supposed to be here today!") and The Breakfast Club ("You just bought yourself another Saturday! Instead of coming to prison, you'll come here!"). It was a preview of my life if I don't change my hoodlum, law-breaking, illegal U-turning ways. It was eight and a half hours of sitting at a table in a small room on a beautiful day, filling out endless reproachful questionnaires intended to determine why I'm such a leech on civilized society. I will now be driving like a little old lady for the rest of my life.