Wednesday, December 21, 2005
the empire claims another
So New York announces that it's stealing Johnny Damon right out from under our noses (AND making him shave so he more closely resembles a Jeter-bot) and at about the same time its residents are forced to walk miles to work in the (thank you Darren) BLISTERING cold. So okay, the two are basically unrelated, but the connection is there if you REALLY want to see it: You've gone too far this time, NYC, and shall suffer frostbite as a consequence. You're like the kindergarten bully that steals our snack as soon as we look away for a second. Apparently $52 million in the bank holds a slight advantage over hometown pride and Fenway franks. Fine, New York, I know you make more money and stay up later and okay maybe dress a little better than us, but for the love of God, stop buying our people! At least don't touch Big Papi, otherwise we'll be forced to put down our Sam Adams and rip your well-coiffed head right off.