Tuesday, September 19, 2006

And I Couldn't Help But Wonder: When It Comes to the Men in New York, Does the Big Apple Fall Far From the Tree?

Dave and I were watching the tourist channel in my room at the cleverly named New Yorker, which is basically a Holiday Inn on a prime piece of real estate. Whatever city you're in, the tourist channel turns it into Disney World: San Francisco is one endless cable car ride, Boston is a beeah at Cheeahs, and I'm sure that Seattle is "brewing up something special for your trip!" Regardless of where you are, all these channels agree on one thing: You, my friend, are on the epicenter of a bustling metropolis with SO MUCH to DO! Culture AND restaurants! No, really, you can learn AND eat!

In this case we were hearing about their Sex and the City tour, which New Yorkers like to go on at the end of a hard day on Wall Street, presumably before doing a choreographed street dance with Annie and Daddy Warbucks.

Me: I wish there was a real Sex and the City tour.
Dave: Oh, yeah. They take you around the city and then make you go down on a UPS guy.
Me: Then they have transvestite prostitues throw eggs at you in the middle of the night.
Dave: You'd have to work in a lot of puns.
Me: And you'd have to have screaming fights with each other in the middle of the street for no good reason.
Dave: Oh, right, what episode did that happen in, again?
Me: I'd go on that tour.
Dave: Who wouldn't?


stefanie said...

Excellent very Carrie-esque subject line. Well done.

Darren McLikeshimself said...

I'm in the middle of season three, and during last night's episode, I actually yelled at the screen, "Jesus God, Carrie! You're a fucking idiot!"

nabbalicious said...

Carrie IS a fucking idiot. But I would still go on that tour. I also think there should be a companion tour featuring things that should have happened on the show. For example, Carrie gets run over by that bus in the credits. Big falls to his death off one of the many bridges (I'll let him choose).

kate said...

Beats the hell out of Magnolia cupcakes.

Libragirl said...

I would so go on that tour. Just to watch though, I don't like getting hit with stuff from transvites

Greg said...

Uh, oh... I got all of these Sex and the City references. I guess I'm a woman now. I actually just watched the episode yesterday where she was on her book tour in California and opened for the dog with the big tongue.

I particularly disliked Carrie in the third season, Darren, with the big affair. One particular episode toward the end is brutal... but I won't ruin it just in case you haven't seen it. But ugh!!

don't call me MA'AM said...

Add another "yeah, a total idiot" to the Carrie-list. Sometimes, I just wanted to smack her. Well, except for the post-it episode. I forgave her for being an idiot that day.

I'd go on that tour if Smith was leading it... and ONLY if Smith was leading it.

Red said...

Stefanie, thanks! They're too easy to copy.

Darren, I hate Carrie so much, sometimes I just yell that for no reason whatsoever.

Nabbalicious, I'm glad you're also not a fan of Big. I was totally... wait, about to spoil things for Darren. Suffice to say that I was always hugely unimpressed by stupid Big.

Kate, yeah, totally!

Libragirl, you don't? Why?

Greg, I KNOW. Blech. Also, love your hat!

Ma'am, I know, but she was even lame in dealing with the post-it, when she saw his friends at a bar and yelled at them. Poor crazy Carrie.

Melissa said...

I wish they made a spinoff about Miranda and Steve. The pilot could be Miranda killing the other three with one of Carrie's Manolo stilettos. Finally free, she'd go home on the subway, put on some jeans and sneakers, and then she, Steve and Brady would go to the diner--their local, not, like, Coffee Shop--for some blintzes and an egg cream.

Dave said...

I do love a good pun...