Thursday, January 18, 2007

Another Opportunity to Educate the Young Squandered in Favor of Mocking Them

Work Friend: Look at [Kid]. He's totally standing there playing with his nipples.
Me: Wow, things are getting pretty K-I-N-K-Y around here.
Another Kid: What?
Work Friend: She said things are getting pretty silly around here! Whee!

Me: I just learned from that when kids say "You're not the boss of me," they're really just trying to express themselves and you should prompt them to say something more constructive like "I'd like a choice," and that can be a substitute for all the mean things they really want to say.
Work Friend: That's some cutting-edge research. Remember we have [Yet Another Kid]'s meeting tomorrow.
Me: I'd like a choice.

The CNN headlines can be so funny. Today one of them was "Six Annoying Things Kids Say and How to Respond." I was hoping the annoying things would be things like "Mommy, I'm cold" or "Daddy, you promised you'd quit."

Instead it gave advice about what to tell your kids if they're nagging you for crap. "I want the ring pop! IWANTITIWANTITIWANTIT!" One of the neutral responses it suggested was "It's nice to want things." I plan to use this all the time, in every possible scenario. Consider its power: When said to a despised coworker who requires something of you, you can just imagine the defeated look you'd get in return... and waitasecond, what's that suddenly in your possession? Ah yes, it's THE UPPER HAND. Or how about using it at the end of a date with someone you don't want to see again? And in a different context, were it delivered with a small, evil smile and an unblinking stare, I imagine it could be pretty terrifying.

Bottom line? Possibilities for my new catchphrase: endless!


Burg said...

I'm going to write that down and put it on my refrigerator. It's now going to be my answer to almost everything..

Melissa said...

Thanks for sharing.

Red said...

Burg, let me know how it goes over.

Melissa, best wishes for continued success.

Burg said...

Okay.. I got to use it for the first time on my five year old tonight as she started to throw a fit.. She became confused and shut up... More than likely it was because I didn't use it in the proper way, but who cares, she didn't get into an all out screaming tantrum.

Oh what a magical phrase!

don't call me MA'AM said...

HAHAHAH... I love your conversations with Work Friend. It brings back so many memories of when I was a teacher.

I read that article on CNN yesterday. Pathetic. I like my answers better, "No." Plus, when they get older, you can negotiate more. If they argue, you just ground them and take away their car. It works really well. After the first time, we had no more arguments. Whee!

metalia said...

But...why was the kid playing with his nipples?!

That is indeed an awesome catchphrase, Red. I can't wait until my son can talk so I can use it on him. (I kid, I kid!)

Liz said...

I plan on trying this with my boss on Monday. I'm convinced he'll he my staggering confidence as an asset.