Monday, March 12, 2007

I Somehow Feel I've Sullied Your Good Name, Danny Pintauro. And For That I Am Sorry.


I don't know if you guys remember the sneak attack song lyric contest, nay, BATTLE TO THE DEAH at my humble place of employment. You can read about it here and here. (You guys actually had some great ideas for our second go at it, but yet again I've gone and somehow deleted all my old comments.)

It's become a thing of the past, because two of my coworkers who were my partners in pointlessness now work in other schools in the district, and the other one is working someplace else. You can imagine my disappointment that they missed this.

I'm eating lunch with some work friends, one of whom is planning her wedding and talking about readings for the ceremony. She wants something original and I don't blame her; I believe the point has been sufficiently drilled home that love is both patient and... wait for it... kind. Everyone's throwing their hats/favorite wedding-ish poems in the ring so I suggest a few verses that have always touched my heart:

"There's a time for love and a time for living. Take a chance and face the wind. There's an open road and a road that's hidden, a brand new life around the bend. There were times I lost a dream or two, but I found a trail and at the end was you. There's a path you take and a path not taken. The choice is up to you, my friend. Something-something but you're on your way to a brand new life, a brand new life around the bend."

I got a couple smirks but then came this from the blushing bride: "That's sweet! What's it from?"

Corinthians! Tell her Corinthians!

Me: I'm sorry. It's the Who's The Boss theme song.
WP: No, it's not. Is it?
Me: Yeah, it is.

What was I thinking? I should've told her I wrote it and encouraged her to have a loved one read it at the blessed event. I mean, it IS pretty original. Damn it, Red... always squandering opportunities to take it to the next level.

Anyone getting married anytime soon? I'm also available to do the theme from the A-Team.


Libragirl said...

That would be classic to read at a wedding. I thought I was a tv addict, but you beat me.

stefanie said...


I am trying to remember what it was that Carla's brother told Turk to use as his speech when the two of them got married. I'm thinking it was the Billy Crystal speech at the end of When Harry Met Sally... "Scrubs" fans... help me out here?

Jaek said...

I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. Even with the title of the post and the cast photo, I didn't figure the "reading" out until almost the end. Yet, when I read the post aloud to Wife, she started laughing by the second line. She was a huge "Boss" fan (the show, not Springstein); I just had it bad for Alyssa Milano. I still remember when she got her first training bra...

-R- said...

If I ever renew my vows or something like that, I will invite you to come perform. Maybe all the readings can be 80s show theme songs. I am thinking the Family Ties song would work well too.

Darren Mclikeshimself said...

So did you really stand there and deliver that "poem" with a straight face?

Red said...

Libra, I know, when all is said and done, isn't it actually kind of nice?

Stefanie, I didn't see that one, but I'm starting to love that show!

Jaek, even I had it bad for Alyssa Milano. Was there ever a more perfect stripper name?

-r-, totally! Although people would be onto you when you ended with "sha-na-na-na."

Darren, no! I was laughing, and so were my work friends who recognized it. I didn't realize anyone was taking it seriously until the bride spoke up. Having said that, I'm also available for serious delivery of TV theme songs, should your interest fall in that area.

Melliferous Pants said...

Nothing short of brilliant!

I have a friend who asked for help choosing a wedding song. I can't believe she didn't like my suggestions. Who wouldn't want All Out of Love or Seasons Change?

Married Jen/Single Jen said...

That was awesome. I was singing it in my head while I was reading it. I needed a good laugh today.

Married Jen said...

I swear I would have used that in my wedding, had I thought of it, or say, read this blog about a year ago. I had trouble thinking of anything creative to do at our wedding. And I didn't want to do ANY of the boring traditional stuff!


Esther said...

Nights are long but you might awaken to a brand new life, a brand new life, a brand new life around the bend.

don't call me MA'AM said...

You are awesome. Like, totally. And being a child of the 80s, I think that would make the most bitchin' wedding ever.

Killer said...

That is great, I have actually told several people in the past that it would be awesome if someone started quoting the Ateam intro for their wedding vows. No one has ever found that funny. I love you.