Saturday, September 24, 2005

it's okay to hate a toddler, right?

My new neighbors apparently have 37 kids. The mom warned me when they were moving in: "We REALLY have kids." I wasn't sure how to interpret this. Was she thinking I wouldn't believe her? Have there been incidents of her fabricating offspring in the past? Apparently she was just trying to tell me that they're kind of loud. They do run around like lunatics, but I'm used to being around kids so it doesn't faze me. No, it's other things that faze me and make me quiver with hate. So I'm about to drive off and their youngest, she's probably barely three, was rolling around on the trunk of their car like she's Daisy Duke. In an effort to be able to see where she is and thus not run her over, I said to her, "Sweetie, I'm going to pull out, so can you go stand on the grass for a minute?" She looks at me and replies, "No, because this is my car." My thoughts went like this: 1) That was a good sentence for a three-year-old. 2) What an uppity bitch. 3) You can't think a three-year-old is an uppity bitch. 4) Seriously though, what an obnoxious little tatertot.

So, we'll see how the newbies work out. As long as they don't walk up to my open window and start randomly talking to me, like some other neighborhood gems, then we're good.

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