Sunday, June 17, 2007

Apparently Now Every Little Damn Thing Makes Me Cry. What Of It?

1. The trailer for A Mighty Heart. It seems like a nice tribute, but ohmygod. I'm able to take it down a notch by reminding myself that the guy who plays Daniel Pearl also played Charlotte's gay-straight boyfriend on Sex and the City. "Ooh, is that dress Cynthia Rowley?"

2. My Daddy The Crocodile Hunter on Animal Planet. You can imagine where I'm going with this one, right? I spend all day around kids, and somehow I'm completely blown away by how unbelievably freakin' cute the footage of Steve and Bindi is. By the time the show was over, I was so thoroughly convinced of the unsurpassed adorability of the two of them together that you'd think I'd been married to the guy and given birth to Bindi myself. Khaki has never brought out such emotion in me before. I couldn't even post a picture of them here because the tears, crikey, the TEARS!

3. Dave Roberts' standing ovation at Fenway. He plays for the Giants now, but for those of you non-baseball people, he was ours in 2004 and in the bottom of the ninth inning of game four of the playoffs, down by one run against the Yankees and seconds away from losing it all, out of nowhere Dave stole second base and later scored, which changed THE WORLD (i.e. started a chain of perfection which eventually led to the Sox winning the World Series for the first time in 86 years). Anyway, he was back this weekend and received the Boston lovin' that he so richly deserves. I also like the idea that a fairweather Giants fan could've put on the game and wondered why the hell Sox fans are so nice to visiting teams. (Okay, done with the baseball talk.)

4. The fifth grade graduation last week. I'm pretty sure fifth grade graduations didn't exist back when I was in fifth grade. Neither did getting letter grades in first grade or long and involved conversations about central auditory processing disorders as opposed to "that kid just doesn't listen," but that's neither here nor there. They read Oh The Places You'll Go and sang (wait for it!) the Graduation/Friends Forever song by Vitamin C. I'm sort of glad they're done practicing, because for awhile the halls were starting to resonate with the sound of bad late 90s radio. What will next year's class do? Ladies and Gentlemen of the Class of 2008, Wear Sunscreen? When it came out ten years ago I hoped that by now it could've been Ladies and Gentlemen of the Class of 2008, Get In Your Flying Cars. Incidentally, where the hell is my flying car? I believe it was promised to me years ago. I'm talking to you, Marty McFly.

5. An email from a friend with whom I had a falling out several months back, which said:

For what it's worth fucking up my friendship with you is one of the things I most regret about 2007 so far. I don't regret the ecstasy, the blow, the alcoholism, the poor judgment in dating a sociopath in February, the handjob from that sickly, latino prostitute outside my office in downtown Chelsea, or even trying to masturbate to Brokeback Mountain "just to see..." But I regret losing a pretty cool friend.

Aww. Nothing like good old-fashioned sentimentality.


Stefanie said...

Apparently my recollection of bad late 90s music isn't what I thought it was, because when you said, "The Graduation/Friends Forever song by Vitamin C," the song I thought of was the "Wear Sunscreen" one. Apparently I have lost all memory of the former. Oh well. said...

I got in a fight with Someone We Both Know about that "Where Sunscreen" bit and whether it was written by a middle-age woman columnist in Chicago or....wait for it...Kurt Vonnegut. I won.

Also, I decided weeks in advance–weeks!-that "where the hell are they flying cars?" would by my first statement of the new millennium. Are we still friends? said...

Or even "THE flying cars." Carry on.

She's a big star said...

Bindi is the cutest thing, EVER! She's adorable...and so smart and polite and mature. I'm amazed by her every time I see her.

Can we talk about that e-mail for a sec? You totally made that up, right?

Red said...

Hee, no. He made up some of the stuff in it, hopefully needless to say, but it's for realz.

Anonymous said...

Technically, it was Doc Brown who had more to do with the flying car than Marty. It was Doc who took the car into the future where the technology existed to convert it into a flying time machine.

And that might be the fullest email message anyone has ever sent the entire history of email.

Unknown said...

Dammit! Now I really, really want to listen to that song.