Ugh, I hate puns. Why did I just do that? There's nothing less funny than puns, is there? Same goes for and-THEN-I-accidentally-said-the-wrong-thing stories. I was at a wedding this summer where we got talking about waitressing and this crazy-looking girl started telling this story about how one time she was telling the specials to an old couple and instead of saying scrod, she said scrotum. Har har. It's like Everybody Loves Raymond humor. And who says the word scrotum, anyway? How does that slip out?
Um...anyway. So, I'm ready for fall. As soon as school starts back up, I'm ready for long sleeves and sleeping with the windows open. As soon as Bath and Body Works is ready with their fall candles, I'm ready too. So in an effort to hurry things along (pumpkins! foliage! cider!), here's What I Did on My Summer Vacation (imagine it written in second-grader scrawl):
- Spent LOTS of time on the Cape: 4th of July with the family, where I watched my cousins ingest a lot of meat and women; a fun waffle cone weekend with Melissa and Joe; and several days of parasite recovery, during which I lost weight but not my mojo.
- Spent my usual week at Dirty Dancing. Dealt with Hoodlum Waiter's friend who climbed on top of a gazebo and wouldn't come down and gave the event its own theme song by whispering the lyrics to "Such Great Heights," which was actually a little creepy, now that I think about it.
- Saw the following movies: Wedding Crashers, Must Love Dogs, 13 Going on 30, and Under the Tuscan Sun. I know, how girly of me. I loved them all. I saw Wedding Crashers twice because it was freakin' hilarious. ("Yeah, it could've been the soft mattress. Or the midnight rape.")
- Survived several weddings, including the Bride's. Attempted to squelch panic at the fact that my Safety Friend is now married. But lost any remaining respect for her when, while discussing Connecticut's upcoming wedding, she said, "I mean, I don't want HER to wear a strapless dress because I wore a strapless dress, you know?"
- Went to Mexico with Jenico. Pantalones optional, mojitos required.
- Pulled off Jen's surprise birthday party, with out-of-state guests to boot!
- Started planning the parents' 30th anniversary party with Dorie, who talks like this: "Yeah, I totally think that...RYAN, THAT WAS A VERY BAD THING YOU JUST DID! GO SIT ON THE STAIRS!...think that it's a great idea if we..."
- Went to lots of Sox games...and we have one more tonight (which we are going into four games up from the Yankees...and my dad text-messaged me "CU 2nite @ 6" which scared me until he told me that he has a program that turns his English into teenager IM-speak) and one more in October...the last one of the regular season, and against GUESS WHO!
- Mourned the trade of Swing and a Miss Bellhorn. Just kidding! Have fun with him, New York!
- Made more Yankees jabs in one blog entry than in the past year.
- Read some good books.
- Cut my HAIR. Phew.
And here's my summery playlist:
Magic - Cars
Steppin' Out - Joe Jackson
Love Will Come Through - Travis
You're Beautiful - James Blunt
Hot Child in the City - Bay City Rollers
Everybody's Changing - Keane
Electrical Storm - U2
Sparks - Coldplay
Love You Madly - Cake
The One I Love - David Gray
Brighter than Sunshine - Aqualung
Considering I'm kicking off fall at Bad Driver School, this season will have to work pretty hard to live up to the summer. Get your ass in gear, autumn.
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8 comments:
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AGH how do I make it stop
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(PS - I think there is something when you first log in about getting rid of comment spam)
My sister in law had the same problem with her blog comments the other day. Blogger offers some sort of comment authenticator to block spam. There's always HaloScan, which is great because you can actually ban the bastards who spam you. AND HaloScan will automatically drop the code into your template for you so you don't have to try to figure it out on your own.
Anyway... I really wanted to write in to tell you that my stepfather, Dick, actually does say scrotum and on purpose. But it really only happens on Christmas Day when he's sitting next to grandparents.
You got spammed like a mutha! I was coming to expect to see 10 whole comments (Most I've seen here!) and what do I get? Imitation canned meat. Gross.
Man alive! Can I edit that! I fucked up.
Darren, my all-time favorite was, "SHE'S DEAD! WHY?"
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