Tuesday, November 29, 2005

in which I investigate why teenage girls with pink blogs subject themselves to this kind of barbaric cartoon scrutiny

They're called blogthings and they totally size you up. As usual, I'm game.

Your IQ Is 115

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average

Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius

Your Mathematical Intelligence is Above Average

Your General Knowledge is Exceptional

I love how they just come right out and tell me that my logical intelligence is below average. Girl, you might be able to string together a sentence, but you'll get lost driving around the block. That does sound like me, come to think of it. It's tough love, I get it. Bring me some Kleenex, I'm ready for more.

Your Personality Profile

You are dependable, popular, and observant.
Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness.
In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do.

You are unique, creative, and expressive.
You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while.
And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

While I'd really enjoy nothing more than to singularly own some of these characteristics, I have a sneaking suspicion that I maaaaay not be the only person on the planet influenced by their emotions. And I love how it's such a revelation: "In FACT, your heart even pumps BLOOD."

By the way, your right to burn your own freak flag is protected 100% by the Constitution.

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Cult Classic

Quirky, offbeat, and even a little campy - your life appeals to a select few.
But if someone's obsessed with you, look out! Your fans are downright freaky.
Your best movie matches: Office Space, Showgirls, The Big Lebowski

Why do I have a stalker if my life appeals to few? Whatever, I'm changing the locks.

You Are Likely A Forth Born

At your darkest moments, you feel angry.

At work and school, you do best when your analyzing.

When you love someone, you tend to be very giving.

In friendship, you don't take the initiative in reaching out.

Your ideal jobs are: factory jobs, comedy, and dentistry.

You will leave your mark on the world with your own personal philosophy.

What a surprise, I have Little Sister Syndrome; that much I knew. Only where the hell are my siblings? And can't I spell my own position in this imaginary family correctly?

Your Career Type: Social

You are helpful, friendly, and trustworthy.
Your talents lie in teaching, nursing, giving information, and solving social problems.

You would make an excellent:

Counselor - Dental Hygienist - Librarian
Nurse - Parole Officer - Personal Trainer
Physical Therapist - Social Worker - Teacher

The worst career options for you are realistic careers, like truck driver or farmer.

What kind of social problems could I solve... bad manners, poor form? As a parole officer, would I get a night stick? And not a good truck driver or farmer? Your doubt only fuels me to want to succeed in that "realistic career" field.

Your Ideal Relationship is Friends with Benefits

You're not looking for anything serious... just something hot!

And you're little black book (or cell phone) always hooks you up.

You want nothing more than friends with benefits. No strings.

You also don't mind benefits without the friendship!

Gosh, express a few reservations about marriage to blogthings and suddenly you're a shameless whore hitting on her friends. How do they just keep hitting the nail right on the head like that?

Your Brain's Pattern

You're a simple thinker, and this is actually a very good thing.
You don't complicate matters when you don't have to.
You look for the simplest explanation or solution, and you go with that.
As a result, your mind is uncluttered and free of stress.

You're a simple girl, Red, laying in a simple field surrounded by simple flowers. Don't you remember us telling you that you have no logical intelligence? Why did you have to come back for more?!

You Are 30 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.


Your Hidden Talent

You are both very knowledgeable and creative.
You tend to be full of new ideas and potential - big potential.
Ideas like yours could change the world, if you build them.
As long as you don't stop working on your dreams, you'll get there.

...and in conclusion I'd just like to say, congratulations to the class of 1987! We did it! WOO! Kegger at Buffy's after sunset!

You Are Lemon Meringue Pie

You're the perfect combo of sassy and sweet
Those who like you have well refined tastes

I'm dessert and you're classy. It's a win-win, really.

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