1. What would be your first purchase after winning the lottery?
A house with a Sephora and Origins in the basement. Wait, did I just buy a mall? OK, never mind. I'd buy a house and a hybrid. Then I'd travel all over Europe and pay for my friends to come with me because I'm rich and they're lucky.
2. What have you always wanted to have/do/be, but know is forever out of reach?
I've always loved the idea of running a bed and breakfast, in a big sunny house with breezy curtains and fresh flowers in every room. But then I realized that would mean strangers sleeping in my home, so it'll just never happen. Some of them could bring dead demon children with them, you never know.
3. Who in your family are you most like?
My mom is extremely emotional, sometimes irrationally so, and my dad is extremely laid-back, sometimes irrationally so. I'd say I somehow fall somewhere in between those two ridiculous extremes.
4. How long would you last on Fear Factor?
I wouldn't go on that lame ass show. Wait, they'll pay me how much to eat sauteed porcupine brain?
5. Describe your sense of humor.
Deconstruction of pop culture, basically.
6. T/F: All I need to know I learned in kindergarten?
True in that cutesy way, but don't drop out afterwards.
7. Religion or politics?
To what, blog about? I prefer to write about movies and bubble gum and cute boys.
8. What’s your favorite word?
9. Can you macarena?
Ugh, I think so. But that dance isn't even fun in a kitschy way. I wouldn't do it, and I'm a girl that's been known to bust out the Electricslide with little to no shame. (Why did I capitalize the E? Out of respect?)
10. “Is it true that if you don’t use it, you lose it?”
You better have a big trunk, because I'm putting my bike in it.
11. Why do you fill out online surveys like this?
I get my inspiration from Subway.
12. What are you most afraid to do, but have always wanted to try?
13. What is the funniest joke you’ve heard?
Here's a random Dane moment because I can't pick just one: "Remember those Kool Aid commercials, where that big talking bowl of punch would come crashing through the fucking wall in your living room? 'OH YEAH! OH YEAH!' And the little kids were all excited: 'Yes, yes!' And then they would drink out of him, after debris fell in his open dumb head. He would pour himself. 'OH YEAH! OH YEAH!' Him and his crazy tights. I don't like that. I don't like when juice wears tights. That's a horrible combination, a bowl of juice wearing tights. And they're fucking drinking out of him. If that was me I'd be like, 'No no no, you fix that wall before my dad gets home from work. He's gonna beat me with a belt, he's not gonna believe a talking bowl of fruit punch came in here.'"
14. How many “where were you when...?” moments do you have?
The Challenger explosion (watching in on TV with my class in the school library)
OJ verdict (the day after my 18th birthday, eating leftover cake in my dorm room with the Bride and Girl With Bunny)
9/11 (at my apartment watching the Today Show)
Red Sox winning the world series (watching it with my dad and Party Jen, literally delirious with joy and sleeplessness)
15. What is the most memorable offhand remark you’ve heard/said?
In the last year, it was, "What time is it? What are you doing? Isn't he married? Get back here!"
16. What is the average air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
Quite speedy, I'd imagine. Also, shut up.