OK, so I'm clearly the world's biggest scaredy cat. The reason that there isn't a better term for it when it applies to adults is because adults shouldn't be as scared of dumb crap as I am. Someone once asked me why I see so many scary movies if I terrify so easily, and I really don't; in the past ten years, I've seen maybe four, but they made a HUGE impact, so much so that I think I've even mentioned them here before. Two of them aren't even considered scary by normal standards but still traumatized me (Scream and The Mothman Prophecies), one was debatable in its scariness (Blair Witch Project), and, of course, there was The Movie That Will Not Be Named, which actually ruined my life a little bit. Obviously I can't name names, but let's just say that Naomi Watts is permanently on my shit list.
Anyway, I've finally realized that the solution is to not see any movie that looks remotely scary. Easy enough. And I don't watch any of what I affectionately refer to as dead people shows, you know, Law and Homicide Crime Scene Victims Justice Unit. I used to watch Lost and even that would really scare me on occasion. Luckily Joe was almost always on instant messenger afterwards to calm my nerves.
My point here is that I don't often get paralyzed with fear in my bathroom at seven in the morning while drying my hair and brushing my teeth and getting ready for work (which I actually do try to go to now and then). I had the radio on, as I always do, and then there was a woman's voice: "I'm so addicted to my cell phone. All my friends have their own personalized rings. People say that my phone and I are attached at the ear! Ha, ha, ha." I'm vaguely assuming it's an ad for Cingular or something. And then: "Some people might think it's annoying, but I think it will come in handy..." Then her voice gets low and creepy. "...in helping the police figure out who murdered me last night." I gasped out loud and got full-body chills. I was so mad at my radio, I almost put on Imus.
My friends always make fun of what I think is scary, so tonight I figured telling Elusive Jen about it was a safe bet.
Me: "...in helping the police figure out WHO MURDERED ME LAST NIGHT."
EJ; OH MY GOD! WHY DID YOU TELL ME ABOUT THAT? I JUST GOT CHILLS!
Me: Wait, so this is legitimately scary, then?
EJ: Um, YES.
Me: I just assumed it was only scary to me.
EJ: NO, it's not.
Me: Oh. Sorry.
EJ: My GOD.
Me: I'm so glad it's not just me!
EJ: I have to go, my cell phone is dying.
Me: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
EJ: I'll call you right back from home.
Me: CALL ME RIGHT BACK IMMEDIATELY RIGHT THIS SECOND NOW.
Yeah, maybe it's just me.