Me: Did you see that MTV Fat Camp show? Actually, of course you didn't.
Hoodlum Waiter Friend: Ahh, no.
Me: It reminded me of Dirty Dancing.
Me: It was the summer and they were all doing random crap and had all their little adventures and drama.
HWF: That pretty much sums it up!
Me: And something about having no air-conditioning makes it that much more summer-like.
HWF: For some people that's reality and not slumming it.
Me: Right. I'm a bad person.
HWF: So you're definitely not coming this year?
Me: No. Blah.
HWF: You should come anyway, even if your family isn't, if only to hang out with me.
Me: Yeah, you're the only friend that I'd have to pay more than $200 a day to hang out with.
HWF: Maybe we could sneak you in. Did you keep your room key? I'm sure they don't change the locks.
Me: Ha, can you imagine?
HWF: Nobody would suspect you. They'd just assume your family was around there somewhere.
Me: That would be so funny.
HWF: And we know you're usually the only one staying on your hall. You and the ghosts.
Me: Shut up.
HWF: I think we even have some new ones this year.
Me: Too far, Hoodlum!
HWF: Actually, the ghosts are mostly people who used to work here, and they'd probably be angry with you for breaking in. So maybe it's better that you don't.
HWF: They might even be kind of angry with you now for even considering it.
Me: I hate you.