As the year draws to a close, it's time to reflect. Time to ponder. Time to buy a new day-to-day calendar!
I love day-to-day calendars. Love! Them! I don't really know why. I keep one in my bathroom, and every morning when I wake up I tear off a new page and then I just feel like I own the day. It's a special feeling, you guys.
It's also a commitment. I can't spend the year with just any old pile of paper and glue. This year I was happy to share my tooth-brushing with Jon Stewart. But since I can't really bear the idea of this, and I don't think there's a House of Carters calendar yet (why the hell not, though), I need some ideas.
The Complete Runner's Day-by-Day Log and Calendar 2007: Start small, Red, like maybe going to the gym occasionally.
Mary Engelbreit's The Happy Side of Me 2007 Day-to-Day Calendar: I'm a little touched by all the sweetness and light, but stuff like "Life is a bouquet of love and hearts" would inevitably start pissing me off by, say, January third.
Jeopardy! 2007 Day-to-Day Calendar: Ooh, the useless information I could spew forth. Can you imagine having a conversation with me? I'd be categorizing everything and only asking questions.
365 New Words-A-Year Page-A-Day Calendar 2007: I could be SO SMART by 2007. I mean 2008. While I'm at it, I should get a calendar that helps me learn what year it is.
Shoes Gallery Calendar 2007: Good morning! Look what you can't afford!
The Wine Lover's Page-A-Day Calendar 2007: Good morning! Look what you can't drink until after work!
The Civil War 2007 Day-to-Day Calendar: Do you have to wait until December of 2007 to find out how it ends? Spoiler alert: Sell your slaves now because they're about to be so two centuries ago.
Zelda Wisdom 2007 Day-to-Day Calendar: I was hoping this was going to be advice from the little guy with the gold sword, but it appears to not be that at all. What would Link have to share with us? "Always keep your shield up and stab people who are mean to you"?
Medical Bloopers 2007 Day-to-Day Calendar: I don't know about you, but misdiagnoses and malpractice sure spell early morning comedy to me.
Becky Kelly's Enchanted Little Moments 2007 Mini Day-to-Day Calendar: Shove it, Becky.
The Best of 14,000 Things To Be Happy About Calendar 2007: Becky, seriously. Give it a rest.
Bible Verses in a Box 2007 Calendar: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, BECKY.
I still haven't found one. Please send help.