Tuesday, March 15, 2005

why are people like this allowed to live on the planet?

Reasons I Knew This Other Town Chairperson Was a Complete Fuck Bunny:

1. At one point he said, "Why don't we hear from Cameron now?" and then everyone sat there in silence looking at each other. Then Fuck Bunny turned to me and was like, "Cameron? It's Cameron, right?" When I corrected him, he looked at me like I just really put him out by not being named Cameron.
2. Once I re-introduced myself, and everyone else continuously referred to me by that name throughout the meeting, he insisted on calling me by my full name. Don't do that. Don't extend the name. I wouldn't call you Fuck Bunniford.
3. When clarifying a point he was trying to make, he would say, "Do you understand this?" like he was addressing a zygote.
4. Whenever anything remotely anecdotal or light-hearted about the kid was shared between staff and family which, hang onto your hats, is actually important to building rapport in a relationship that is full of delicate balances, Fuck Bunny would clear his throat and say, "Yes, so ANYWAY..."
5. After the meeting he told me he wanted to talk to me for a minute, and then informed me that because I have a notebook in which I take notes during all my kids' meetings that my notebook is now public record and that it could be sequestered, and I suddenly pictured it sitting on a table in a little room, all alone and not allowed to read newspapers. Did he mean subpoenaed? Are they the same thing, in this case? Will it be testifying for or against Michael Jackson? Cameron needs answers.

1 comment:

Mystery said...

Damn girl! You made me laugh outloud at work. That's it! My boss thinks I am officially insane.