Sideways - 4.5 piglets. The first movie I've seen in a long time during which you felt every inch of awkwardness and sadness that the main character was experiencing, and then a few minutes later you were laughing so hard you were crying (really, crying). No imposed morality...the rat character was still a rat at the end, without getting his proverbial tail cut off. And a great ending that was satisfying without having everything wrapped up in a bow. It was so nice to see a movie that managed to not be moronic mainstream but also not self-important independent. (I'm talking to you, Zach Braff.)
Constantine - 1 piglet. I hate movies that touch on these huge, scary things (angels and demons and exorcism, oh my) and then have the bad guys look like the most generic crap you'd expect. Like in Signs, when the alien looked like you would if you went to Target around Halloween and bought an alien costume for $14.99. But back to the movie at hand. Some potentially interesting stuff going on here, but Gavin Rossdale as a demon, and Keanu as the mediator between heaven and hell? Shoot the hostage.
But I'm a Cheerleader - Piglets Not Applicable. I was planning to watch this movie but then forgot it was on. Then I cancelled my movie channels. Darn.