have fun, stay single

So my mom calls me this morning and happens to mention that she heard that Jeff (my friend who is getting married later this month; she's friends with his mom) is having a pre-wedding party.

"Oh yeah, I got the Evite but I didn't look at it yet. What kind of party?"

"I think it's sort of a singles thing."

Oh, so this is what an ice water IV drip would feel like. "A singles thing?"

"Yeah, I think that because they didn't invite people with dates, they're trying to give all the single people a chance to meet each other before the actual wedding. You know, so it's more fun for you guys."

"What?"

"I think it's a nice idea."

"Mom, it's a wedding, not summer camp! I don't need to have friends there!"

"Well, it couldn't hurt you to meet some new people!"

"I have plenty of friends!"

"I know, but I think some of his single guy friends might be there, too."

Deep breath, Red. She means well. Shemeanswellshemeanswellshemeanswell.

"This can't be his intention," I told her. "I'm calling him right now."

"Sure, call him. But I still think it's a nice idea."

He laughed so hard that his fiancee finally picked up the phone. "Red, what did you say to him?"

"I told him that my mom told me that you guys are hosting a singles mixer before your wedding. I was just wondering if he has any input as to my suicide method."

Turns out it's more like a gathering of all their friends, local and out-of-town, so that they have a chance to spend time with people since they won't get much of a chance for QT with anyone at the actual wedding.

Still, though. I wonder what I should wear to this rose ceremony.